- I wish someone had been more stern with me and said: "Your triplets WILL stay in the NICU, the question is how long. So get ready, they will be taken from the operating room straight there and you and Paul will not be able to see them for a few hours." Triplets so rarely go home right away that I wish I had better prepared myself for that. I think all the medical professionals were trying to keep me upbeat and positive that no one wanted me to think about that.
- I wish I had toured the NICU prior to their birth. Shoot I was in the hospital, I could have just gone downstairs!
- I learned a lot about kick counts. I learned that I COULD tell who was kicking at any given time with about 90% certainty (there were a few areas where babies seemed to overlap). I learned that after a certain point the babies won't trade spots anymore. Doctors will determine baby A, B, C etc by position. Baby A will be the lowest.
- Bed rest was tough for me. Poor Paul had to do everything for me because not only was I physically unable to exert myself, I was not allowed to. I am naturally pretty high-energy so being confined was a struggle. I told him the other day that during that time my mind said I could have run 3 miles, but my body would have disagreed. He would be so protective and had to remind me that I couldn't do something and that would sometimes make me mad. So to all you spouses out there with similar experiences, you are saints. I couldn't have been an easy patient on top of all the housework, cooking, work, and constant need of attention (when he got home it was like I had to talk for 30 minutes or I would go nuts). My biggest blessing was that I was allowed to work from home while on bed rest. It kept my mind busy and prevented me from over thinking every little thing going on with my body.
- When I was admitted to the hospital they gave me several drugs to help slow or stop the contractions. Sometimes they had strange or uncomfortable side affects. It seemed that different doctors had different philosophies on what worked and what didn't. One thing they did do was give me steroids to help develop the babies lungs. I really do think this was a big part of their success.
- Diet was such a struggle for me. I was supposed to eat A LOT. Now I know this sounds like a dream, but my stomach was already a little off plus those babies squished ever major organ in me so it was better for me to eat throughout the day vs. only at meals. Protein was a big part of what I needed to increase, I will never drink another Muscle Milk shake again if I can avoid it!
- In my experience, nothing really was super PAINFUL. I was very uncomfortable and had trouble breathing but you hear horror stories and think that it is going to just be excruciating. That was no my experience, I am sure there are others that would totally disagree. My main point in saying this is to not scare expectant mothers too much. I really didn't think about it a whole lot, my attention was on the babies.
- I wish I had given the camera to someone else from the beginning. Poor Paul had a lot on his mind and besides he should be in some pictures too. Also, beware, maybe you shouldn't look at them right away...mine had a lot of tubing and stuff and I saw the pictures before anyone explained what was going on.
- Morphine made me SO COLD. At least I think it was Morphine. Something made me just shiver uncontrollably.
After the birth:
- I was pretty drugged up. It is strange and there is nothing to describe it. I may have said some really stupid things right after the birth in my drug induced haze.
- I still looked pregnant!!! I looked roughly 6 months pregnant for about 7 days after delivery, then I just looked fat. I hated it. I even went on an errand with my dad my second day home and a man asked me when I was due. My sweet dad just said "she actually just gave birth to triplets a few days ago...doesn't she look GREAT!"
- Going home without the babies was the hardest part for me. I always warn any mom of a new mom who had a preemie that this would be a rough day. I do this because the new mom already knows it is going to be hard but people around her may not realize it. They wheeled me out into the elevator with another new mom and her cute little newborn. She got to take her baby home...I didn't. It nearly killed me. Paul was proactive and fed me lunch and took me right back up there. Being home without them got easier but it was never easy.
- NICU stands for Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. It is ICU for babies. Every hospital is different, I like to think ours was special but from what I understand NICU nurses and doctors are just special people.
- Our hospital had a level 3 NICU and you find those in most major cities. In Texas for instance I learned that if you live between Fort Worth and Lubbock (about a 5 hour drive) you have to go to either city to find a level 3 NICU. This makes it really hard for those who live rurally to visit their children if they have an extended stay in the NICU (in emergencies those babies had to be transported from a rural hospital to be there, so scary). I have a new appreciation for the Ronald McDonald House. We are blessed to live less than 5 minutes from the hospital I delivered at.
- We had several different Neonatologists (NICU doctors) throughout our stay but one main doctor that was in the delivery room. We were fortunate that the doctor on call when I delivered was the head of the department. A very gifted and knowledgeable man who had wonderful bedside manor. But those doctors don't work 24/7/365, they do shifts and are on call at different times so we saw whoever was on in the subsequent weeks. This can get confusing because if someone does not know your child outside of what is on their chart you can get conflicting information (but you can always get a second opinion).
- The stay was a roller coaster. From PICC lines to to Apnea, I learned some new terms. I highly recommend going to the March of Dimes website. Specifically this page: http://www.marchofdimes.com/baby/inthenicu_equipment.html that gives some NICU jargon. I started to get used to all the beeping and alarms going off, it is constant. The nurse knows when it is an emergency and often it is as simple as a lead (the wire monitoring the child's vitals) becoming loose. But every now and again a child has truly stopped breathing. This is really scary to watch, especially when that child is yours. Yes, that's right, we watched each of our children stop breathing at some point. I like to think I am a tougher parent and person because of this. I also think that all the constant noise helped prepare my children to sleep through other noises later in life.
- Our NICU was a big one, 60 or so babies in at a time. In our hospital the Charge Nurse was a good person to make friends with. She decided where the babies were room wise. Ours was set up in rooms 1 through 5 with 5 being the most severe cases. In our case, it was easier on us when the babies were in the same room near or next to each other. The Charge Nurse was a sweet lady who always did her best to make our lives easier.
- Babies have to meet a series of milestones set out by their medical team in order to go home. Weight has very little to do with it, that is a common misconception because weight comes with age and with age comes maturity (usually). The doctors and nurses look for those maturity measures (sucking on their own, maintaining their body temperature, etc) in order to discharge.
- We found that the NICU nurses were amazing people. They were responsible for our tiny little newborns. We tried to always remember to express gratitude and affection.
- We had to spend the night or "room in" before we could take the babies home. We were fortunate that all came home together, that is apparently rare. So we stayed one night with all three in our room, no monitors, no tubes. The nurse came in every 2-3 hours to check on us. VERY little sleep was had that night.
- Security was of course a major priority for the NICU staff. As parents, we wore bands that matched one on each child. These bands identified us when we called and were our "passes" into the facility. Each parent could bring a visitor in with them but one child could not have more than 3 people bedside (a non-issue for us). When we entered the ward we had to scrub for 3 minutes each time. I think that actually helped me loose weight. See you couldn't bring food in with you and for me to go out, get food, come back, and re-scrub in, helped food seem not so important.
- Bottom line, having a child in the NICU is always going to be hard. There were days that I just needed a good cry when I left. It is stressful and confusing but it did help to meet some of the other families near us and some I still keep in touch with. No two case is identical but NICU parents share a special bond.
No comments:
Post a Comment